Work Wit
Sparkling Persistence…Fail once and folks will call you unlucky. Fail three more times and they will brand you a loser. Fail four more times then triumph once, and people will revere you as an “overnight successful entrepreneur.”
Biz Quiz
How great a role do immigrants play in business launches? Within the last 10 years, 44.8 percent of all new U.S. businesses were started by first generation immigrants. (Not all survived/thrived.) Today, approximately 20 percent of U.S. businesses are owned by first generation immigrants.
Curmudgeopedia – Devilish Definitions of Life as We Live It.
ADVERTISEMENTS – An unending series of loathsome seductions luring all humanity to consume more than any stomach or household can possibly store.
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Work Wit
Gifting Glut…Put a “Sale” sign beside it and Santa’s hat on top of it, and you can charge anything you want for your goods over the holidays.
Biz Quiz
How much did American’s spend on Cyber Monday? The final tally is not in yet, but as of 6 p.m. on Monday, December 2, 2024, U.S. tech gourmands were spending $15.7 million per minute on tech toys, er, necessities
Curmudegeopedia – Devilish Definitions of Life as We Live It
BRAND – An artistically cutsey symbol (e.g. a piece of fruit) carefully designed to release the viewers’ hidden urge to put their money in your pocket.
Work Wit
Modern Compartmentalization….Our CEO has just appointed a new creative team, and given them special sweatshirts. We are so relieved – now the rest of us don’t have to bother thinking.
Biz Quiz
How does creative management differ from non-creative management? The former seeks outside-the-box ways to guide complex projects into an alignment of principles, methods, techniques, practices, and instruments that will maximize productive cash flow. The later merely looks for ways that might make more money. ***
Curmudgeopedia – Devilish Definitions of Life as We Live It.
SOCIAL MEDIA – 1) A less personal, more intimate vehicle for broadcasting self praise. 2) A promotional tool employed by advertisers for reaching the greatest number of people with the least possible effect.
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Work Wit
Useful Obsolescence…Previously worn neckties are like old worn auto tires – both are a potential boon, desperately awaiting the right entrepreneur to discover a new use for them.
Biz Quiz
What three professions still cling to the necktie as an imperative part of business dress? The answer is finance, law, and white-collar thieves; but I repeat myself.
Curmudgeopedia – Devilish Definitions of Life as We Live It
SOCIAL MEDIA – A more intimate, less personal pathway to competitive status anxiety, that both youngsters and business mistakenly view as a necessity.
Work Wit
Being an entrepreneur is truly a liberating experience – you are absolutely free to work any 80 hours a week that you want.
Biz Quiz
In 2024, what is the failure rate for new businesses? Generally, studies show that 10 percent fail in the first year, another 70 percent don’t survive the second year, and the remaining 10 percent close doors soon after. This said, the spirit remains undaunted with over 600 million entrepreneurs worldwide, comprising 8 percent of the global population.
Curmudgeopedia – Devilish Definitions of Life as We Live It
TERRORIST – A dastardly hired/enlisted killer whose organization lacks the funds to buy him a proper uniform.
Work Wit
The trouble with our employees is that they have seem to have other goals in their lives besides increasing our company’s bottom line. The trouble with our shareholders is that they believe the only way to achieve that increase is to fire all the employees.
Biz Quiz
What are the fastest growing Fortune 500 companies? Striding into first place is the California technology giant Nvadia, claiming a 163 percent value growth in 2024; with sprawling investment firm Charles Schwab racing along into second place with a 136 percent growth thus far this year.
Curmudgeopedia – Devilish Definitions of Life as We Live It
MEETING – A gathering of grudgingly resigned souls in which minutes are taken and hours are thrown away. (Paraphrased from the meeting-bedeviled President Barack Obama.)
Work Wit
Big Box Attack…The mushrooming of big box stores offers a vast array of low quality items with savings so great they can almost be afforded by the slave-waged staffers they hire.
Business Quiz. How many individual retail storefronts are currently operating within the United States? According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, 1,076,931.
Curmudgeopedia – Devilish Definitions of Life as We Live It
STOCK MARKET – A desperate gambling den in which the heady liquor of ambition is served instead of opium.
Work Wit
Each business leadership book requires, apparently, a trendy buzzword to give it a veneer of originality. Our favorites: leadership matrix – data-driven leadership – strategic leadership – disruptive leadership – leading from your gut – leading without your gut. (real titles.)
Biz Quiz
How many business leadership books are written every year? Some sources claim an unbelieveable 4.8 billion such tomes are penned annually. (Disclaimer: ‘tis a statistic probably as accurate and valuable as the proverbs contained within most leading pages.) ***
Curmudgeopedia – Devilish Definitions of Life as We Live It
FINANCIAL PLANNER – An individual who is not himself rich, but would have you believe that giving him your money will make you both rich.
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Work Wit
Adrift in Data…If my business were as well organized as my desk, we’d hit Chapter 11 within a month.
Biz Quiz
What is the approximate cost of hiring a professional organizer? To get your desk and workspace cleaned up and workable runs usually $450, but can go up to $1,500. To develop a systematic work flow that generates more profit, less stress, and no clutter may require a consultant who charges half of what you currently pay your psychiatrist.
Curmudgeopedia – Devilish Definitions of Life as We Live It
LEISURE – Time wasted in pursuing those activities you know you really do enjoy, as opposed to those valuable pursuits that others assure you really should enjoy. See also Wine, Women, Song.
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Work Wit
Advertising executives devote their days to spanning the vast gap between consumer needs and consumer desire, with bridges of cash.
Biz Quiz
How much do Americans spend on luxury items? We are holding steady at $77 billion – and about $387 billion worldwide.
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Curmudgeopedia – Devilish Definitions of Life as We Live It
CHILDHOOD – That blissful state of exploratory wonderment experienced by the young prior to their being gifted with electronic devices.
Work Wit
Least Valuable Business Books: Elon Musk’s How To Motivate Your Employees and Donald Trump’s How to Avoid Paying for Contracted Work.
(What we can’t understand is why these two guides are so popular.)
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Biz Quiz
How many business books are published annually? You have the privilege of enriching your life with approximately 1000 new business tomes every month – nearly 12,000 annually.
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Curmudgeopedia – Devilish Definitions of Life as We Live It
LEVERAGED BUYOUT (LBO) – Using money you don’t have to purchase something you don’t own, but take title and responsibility for, in hopes of paying back stakeholders you don’t know. Very popular.
