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Work Wit, Biz Quiz and Curmudgeopedia

Work Wit

Advertising executives devote their days to spanning the vast gap between consumer needs and consumer desire, with bridges of cash. 

Biz Quiz

How much do Americans spend on luxury items?  We are holding steady at $77 billion – and about $387 billion worldwide.

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Curmudgeopedia – Devilish Definitions of Life as We Live It

CHILDHOOD – That blissful state of exploratory wonderment experienced by the young prior to their being gifted with electronic devices.

 

Work Wit

Least Valuable Business Books:  Elon Musk’s How To Motivate Your Employees and Donald Trump’s How to Avoid Paying for Contracted Work.

(What we can’t understand is why these two guides are so popular.)

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Biz Quiz

How many business books are published annually?  You have the privilege of enriching your life with approximately 1000 new business tomes every month – nearly 12,000 annually.

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Curmudgeopedia – Devilish Definitions of Life as We Live It

LEVERAGED BUYOUT (LBO) – Using money you don’t have to purchase something you don’t own, but take title and responsibility for, in hopes of paying back stakeholders you don’t know.  Very popular.

Work Wit – What’s Funny About Business

Work Wit

Our HR Director has given us all barcoded ID tags to wear at work.  It allows the machines to identify us and track our movements.  He says it’s part of the firm’s “Getting to Know You” policy.

Biz Quiz

What U.S. President, in 1992, upon first encountering a supermarket bar code scanner was stunned and perplexed?  George H.W. Bush.  The commonly rumored beliefs that his son, President George W. Bush couldn’t hold the code right-side-up to the reader, and that President Bill Clinton has his mistress do the supermarket shopping, are unsubstantiated

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Necessary Jewelry….Today’s job applicant facing that all-important interview will always remember to remove all body piercings, but wouldn’t dream of removing his fitness earbuds.

Biz Quiz – What percent of Americans wear earbuds?  80 percent of Gen Zers (ages 12 – 27) wear them for an average of 6 hours per day;  From ages 30 on it dwindles from 30 to 17 percent.

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The ME in Team…  Business leaders who are cock-sure confident to the point of lunacy and who ruthlessly slave drive employees for their own personal enrichment, may be assured of great praise by the media, and great debits in their balance sheets.

Biz Quiz

In the 21st century, how many Fortune 500 companies have failed?  52 percent of the U.S. Fortune 500 firms thriving in the year 2000 have failed, gone bankrupt, or disappeared as of 2023.

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Boss of your boss…American business folks believe that if you invent more, network more, and labor longer hours, you may someday be supervising your boss.  Is that the lure of hope – or revenge?

Biz Quiz.  How long do we work?  The U.S. Department of Labor states that the average American worker (all levels) labors 2,200 hours a year.  This compares favorably with the 16,000 – 18,000 hours throughout Europe and the 2,000 in Japan.  The dish of mobility, whether served hot or cold, is apparently a very tasty and desired delicacy.

Work Wit   Desperate Classified Ad… Wanted: Recent college graduates with a greater-than-one-tweet attention span, and Boomers with the patience to solve at least one computer glitch without throwing a tantrum.

Biz Quiz

Are there any Boomers left in the U.S. labor force?  Yes – a few.  As of the 4th quarter 2023, the United States claimed 17.3 million working Boomers (born between 1946 – 1964).  It is expected that by December 2024, we’ll see more working Gen Zers (currently ages 12 – 27) than Boomers.

WORK WIT: Three men were being shipped to a desert island and told they could take only one book.  The Imam took the Koran.  The priest selected the Bible.  Ah, but the entrepreneur grabbed a copy of How to Build a Canoe.

Biz Quiz

What nation boasts the most startup enterprises?  The United States (over 5 million in 2023).  Europe, with more than twice the population, launched 3.4 million new businesses.

Work Wit: The Scowl of Self-Absorbtion…If you get really, really serious about everything that you do, you probably won’t like yourself any better than anyone else does.

Biz Quiz: What percentage of surveyed US workers claim to be passionate about their jobs? 20 % (65% claim to be “satisfied.”)

WORK WIT: America The Beautiful…An entrepreneur knows he’s landed in the right country when he spends more time & money giving rebates to loyal clients than to dubious government officials.

Biz Quiz.  Within the last decade, what percent of new enterprises in the United States are launched by first generation immigrants?  48.7 percent.

WORK WIT: Face to Place…Our last “live” team meeting was attended by eight cups of coffee, one intern, and seven laptop screens sporting faceshots of their owner.

Afterthought: The intern unanimously voted himself to department head, and reported to the CEO that it was the most productive meeting held by our team since he joined the firm.

WORK WIT:  Polishing Your Brilliance…I think the reason so many people keep asking me to write my ideas down is so that they won’t have to listen to them.

Biz Quiz:  If you are given one minute to relate your idea, how many words should you use?  120 – 160 is considered an understandable rate of speech.

WORK WIT: Sharing Your Wealth…A financial planner is an individual who has not been able to make himself rich, but who truly believes that if you give him your money, he can make you both rich.

Biz Quiz:  How many financial planners are active in the U.S.?  About 330,000 – that’s 10 planners for every stock listed in NASDAQ.

WORK WIT:  Smoke & Mirrors…In America, being successful is helpful, but appearing successful is a necessity.

Biz Quiz:  What percent of small businesses closed during the pandemic?  Accuracy is difficult here, but during the 2nd quarter of 2020 federal reserve tracking found 37.4% of small businesse shut doors at least temporarily.

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WORK WIT: Polishing Your Brilliance…I think the reason so many people keep asking me to write my ideas down is so that they won’t have to listen to them.

Biz Quiz:  If you are given one minute to relate your idea, how many words should you use?  120 – 160 is considered an understandable rate of speech.

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Work Wit – Ah, ‘tis Spring… Time for careless banks to melt away and careful bankers to grab their parting bonuses and slither into greener pastures.

Biz Quiz: How many United States banks have failed in the 21st century?  563 failed, leaving 3,123 remaining in 2023.

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Work Wit:  Corona Wonders…What do you call a nation where people sit down and chat face-to-face to share a glass of wine, but stand on a moving treadmill and squint into a screen to share employment in the same company? America the Beautiful.

Biz Quiz: What is the best estimate of treadmill desks purchased in the last decade?  Somewhere between 400,000 and 600,000. https://bartsbooks.com

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Work Wit – America The Beautiful…An entrepreneur knows he’s landed in the right country when he spends more time & money giving rebates to loyal clients than to dubious government officials.

Biz Quiz.  Within the last decade, what percent of new enterprises in the United States are launched by first generation immigrants?  48.7 percent.

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Sign of Our Times…She wouldn’t be caught dead venturing into marriage with an off-the-rack wedding gown, but she thinks nothing of venturing into a new enterprise an AI generated business plan.

Biz Quiz: What is the price of the average wedding gown in the U.S.?  America’s 2.5 million brides this past year paid an average of $2,000 – $4,000 for their wedding gowns.

The American Way… As a patriotic gentleman of business, I whole-heartedly support all legislators who give contracts to my firm.  Of course, those who give contracts to my competitors are irresponsible wastrels and darn fools.

Biz Quiz:  How many government contractors are employed in the U.S.?  You are paying for 5,294 contractors – 55% are male – average age is 46.

Dale Caldwell – Takes Helm of Centenary University

His hand on my shoulder, Dale stated enthusiastically, “We can change the world from here.”  Every once in a rare while the exact right leader finds a perfect fit with the exact right team.  And I was fortunate to witness this on October 21st when the idealistic, energetically inventive Dr. Dale Caldwell donned the President’s robes and was invested with the leadership of the refreshingly progressive faculty and students of the 156-year-old Centenary University based in Hackettstown, New Jersey.

Currently, Dale serves as founding head of the Dale Caldwell Foundation, and the Entrepreneur Zones movement which battles poverty in distressed communities by developing new businesses.  Previously, Dale served as head of Farleigh Dickinson University’s Rothman Institute for Innovation and Entrepreneurship, working to promote family businesses and the Prometheus Social Enterprise Awards.  For President Caldwell,  Centenary offers an ideal platform.  An impressive number of the 1,200 undergraduate students take active part in ENACTUS, an national organization that guides collegiates into entrepreneurial enterprises as a catalyst for progress.  Prior to the inaugural ceremony, Dale and several undergraduates celebrated his  donating supplies to a local food pantry and books to a nearby correctional facility.

In his address, Dr. Caldwell noted that “Within our institutions of higher education we possess ample and necessary brainpower and energy to solve all the problems facing our society.”  It seems only fitting that the Centenary mascot is the cyclone.  Keep your eyes on this whirlwind center of innovative learning… where “changing the world” becomes a practical mission.

From Vine to Glass Touring the Fine Wines in New Jersey May 4th

Thursday eve, May 4, 6:30 at the Cranbury Library

From Vine to Glass  Touring the Fine Wines in New Jersey

As the sixth largest producer of wine in the United States, New Jersey boasts 55 commercial wineries and a growing number of wine-grape farms.  And in the Dionysian Society blind tasting pitting the best wines of France and California vs. New Jersey – guess who took top honors?   Wine author and hobby vintner Bart Jackson guides you around the Garden State’s wine offerings, explaining what grapes thrive in her four growing regions, and what winery events not to miss. (Opera & wine, anyone?) Bart also provides tips on selecting, tasting, and growing, as well as some of the best ways to launch your own wine trail explorations.  All is presented with good humor and touches of history…(Do you know how many wineries in Burlington county were closed at the outset of Prohibition?)  Come and discover the tasteful bounty growing all around us.

Bart Jackson, author of The Garden States Winery Guide, is a veteran advocate and explorer of New Jersey’s wine industry. Since 1995, he and his wife Lorraine have grown the grapes in their own hobby vineyard in Cranbury from which they joyfully press and produce their own Chateau Bonne Chance vintages.  Bart is CEO of Prometheus Publishing, hosts The Art of the CEO radio show, and is the founder of The Prometheus Social Enterprise Awards, bringing the most inventive social contributors to light. His other books range from Whitewater – Running the Wild Rivers of North America to the bestselling CEO of Yourself – Getting Down to the Business of Your More Rewarding Life.  As a globe-trotting journalist, Bart has carted his pen and curiosity and wine thirst through over 80 countries.  His most prized writings are the poems penned to his bride Lorraine, which are published on the north wall of their Cranbury home.

To learn more visit From Vine to Glass Touring the Fine Wines in New Jersey – The Art of the CEO Radio

 

Best Revenge

I invested my life savings in a not-so-mutual fund that apparently bought my broker’s new home in Aruba.  He explained that this monetary shift was covered under the contract clause, “Individual results may vary.”

 

Afterthought.  The only just solution is for you to send tickets to your nagging mother-in-law, your out-of-work brother, and your dropout daughter and offer them free rooms in your new house.  If your broker wants to rob what is yours, insist he take the whole package.

Business Quips – The Art of the CEO Radio