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I Choose to Laugh

Recently, America has replaced Humor with Hate as its emotion of choice.  We hate immigrants or those who hate immigrants.  We pour forth our ire on anyone who offends feminists, or those who loathe feminists. Every new word or deed sets our wrath on edge, and ignites our short fuse to a tirade against “the other side.”  With teeth clenched, we rant against a mindless virus – those setting up vaccines to fight the virus – and those not responding to the virus exactly as we know they should.  (You know, those irresponsible/paranoid idiots.)

Disrespect has blossomed from an occasional noun to a frequent, very active verb.  You’ve got to be ever on the watch against those who describe our race or one of those races we favor. They are most likely denigrating bigots – all of them.

And the media loves it.  They fuel our rage and titillate our hate with tales of president past or current – and we angry supporters, in turn, fuel their circulation numbers.  And when we lapse exhausted from disrespecting all of the above, we hunt in search of new targets worthy of our juggernauting enmity.

Now, I could give you my own rant about the danger of spewing venom within and without – how increase of destruction grows with what it feeds on, but you already know that.   The addictive quick high of rage crashes the spirit into ruin – you don’t need me to tell you.

So why revel in this Hades of Hate?  And no.  Don’t you dare tell me that the devil (in the guise of divisive media or politicians or plague) makes us do it.  Frankly, Scarlet, that just ain’t so.  Their acts and words may instinctively prick your spirit and even spark some brief anger, but the choice to harden your heart and carry the scowl of hostility on into the day…That is your choice alone to make – and dispense with.

And the good news?  More and more folks seem to be joining me in opting for humor.  When my wife inspired me to pen & publish the joke-laden “Vax Envy Fight Song” about the Covid-19 inoculation process, and when my second-wisest counselor, Carol, asked me to make a series of laughable quips about our current circumstances, all of you greeted them with refreshing enthusiasm.  And I will bet ten cents of my own money that America will rapidly turn the corner, nix the hate, and re-turn to our romance with humor.  So allow me to invite you all to join me in this joyful trend.  Set your search engine for something funny, some common, laughable point of humanity, and take it to heart.  Then share it with a friend and watch her smile.

Wishing you every success,

Bart Jackson

 

 

 

The Perfect Holiday Gift – Black Friday Sale

In the Words of My Wife’s Husband

Your complete sourcebook of business humor

‘Tis the ideal gift for:

          – Lifting your staff’s spirits

          – Showing appreciation to clients

          – Showing  your young graduate what they’re lurching into

And putting some much needed joy back into your weary days.

          ‘Tis the Season for Holiday Cheer

https://bartsbooks.com/bookstore/in-the-words-of-my-wifes-husband/

Charities’ Survival Guide in Covid Times

Tosha Anderson, founder of The Charity CFO, lays out for charities & non-profits the mandatory adaptations, where new funding sources lie, how to woo and maintain business sponsorships, and an array of new, vital fiscal tools. Listen in to:  Charities’ Survival Guide in Covid Times https://theartoftheceo.com/

 

Amazon’s Hot New Release – In The Words of My Wife’s Husband

At last, here is your complete sourcebook of business humor.  Here’s your chance to dip in, seize a fistful of wry wit, and pass it along to your fellow chaingangers at work.  Bart Jackson believes that the greatest wisdom flies in on the wings of laughter, and for the last decade he’s become known as the man who portrays business in the jocular vein.   Bart’s Business Quips books have provided professionals with barrelsful of quotable zingers to spice up their workdays and their presentations.   As host of The Art of the CEO radio show, Bart has been joyously jesting at the lunacies, piercing the pomposities, and celebrating those clever, inventive folks who make up the business community.  This volume culls and combines the very best and funniest of his quips, jovial repartee with radio guests, and those sardonic, final takeaway Parting Shots which Bart always launches with, “In the Words of My Wife’s Husband….”  May you read, laugh, share, and grow nearly wise. P.S. Don’t miss Bart’s Curmudgeonopedia with its devilish definitions of business jargon.

               www.amazon.com 

 




Laughter Vaccine Your protection against taking today too seriously

I drove out of state to visit my mother, but her state’s police wouldn’t let me in, nor would her gated community.  So I headed back home, and my state won’t let me back in.  Oh well, at least I’m maintaining social distance.

***

About 5:15 pm take your coffee, sit outside, and watch the army of your locked-down neighbors finally stagger out of their homes in outlandish attire, and blink into the light.  There is no more intriguing people-watching venue on the Champs Elysees in Paris.

***

Ten years ago I valet-parked cars in the lot of our local restaurant.  Today, I now wait tables outside on that same lot – and get bigger tips.  Covid’s got me moving up in the world, without changing locations.

***

So now my state allows me to dine inside a restaurant where the waiter standing fifty feet from the kitchen takes twenty minutes longer to deliver my food than he did last week, when I was sitting a hundred yards away out in the parking lot.

***

‘Tis the electoral season and the candidates are in full spin – literally.  As I understand the speeches, marching protestors are courageous patriots seeking liberty, if the politician believes they will vote for him.  The violent thugs and marauding looters are those carrying banners for the opposition.

***

Bart’s elevator pitch is brilliantly clever.  Trouble is, unless the elevator runs from Baltimore to Bangor, he can never finish it.

***

 I truly admire everyone efforts to fill us with good cheer during these times, and I’m sure I could pull myself out of the dumps if only my investments would turn around and lead the way.  (When the liquor business booms – beware your portfolio, my friend.)

***

Now that the president’s name is printed on the stimulus checks, they may be issued in hopes that, like a small child swallowing a dime, they may quickly pass through, providing no effect on the child, and go on to stimulate the corporations so desperately in need.  (Notice: they were not called “public aid checks.)

***

Our office is finally opening up, rotating small groups back in, beginning with the most essential.  Based on my value, looks as if I’ve got a vacation until November.

***

I don’t get all this fuss about wearing masks. Most folks I meet put on a mask every day to protect me from discovering their darker side.  So now their being encouraged to mask up and protect themselves from my darker, diseased side.  What’s the big deal?

***

Campaigning politicians have gotten so desperate during this lockdown that they have stopped begging for your money and are actually phoning to explain why they’d like your vote.

***

Covid-19 lockdown has been particularly tough on the young.  Many teens have become so bored they are reduced to texting their own parents across the dinner table – and not asking for money.

***

 If you doubt that this virus has perched every sector of America on the edge of financial ruin – wait a minute.  There’s bound to be a telebeggar calling in who will happily explain it to you.

***

I learned that the Rockettes are giving free aerobic classes online.  So I grabbed a cold beer, tuned in, and I must say it really works – my heart hasn’t raced this fast in years.

***

 I truly admire everyone efforts to fill us with good cheer during these times, and I’m sure I could pull myself out of the dumps if only my investments would turn around and lead the way.  (When the liquor business booms – beware your portfolio, my friend.)

***

Now that the president’s name is printed on the stimulus checks, they may be issued in hopes that, like a small child swallowing a dime, they may quickly pass through, providing no effect on the child, and go on to stimulate the corporations so desperately in need.  (Notice: they were not called “public aid checks.)

***

The surest way to avoid the truth is to seek it in a survey.  Do you a) strongly agree. b) strongly disagree c) don’t give a damn.

***

This morning I knocked on the back door of a store and a man wearing a mask sold me one large pack of toilet paper. I felt half way between the 1950’s Soviet communist shopper and a Prohibition era alcoholic trying to enter a speakeasy.

 

This virus is harsh – I’ve finally learned to handle the social distancing, but it’s the fiscal distancing – watching my money drift ever further away, that’s crushing me.

***

One thing I’ve learned from this virus is gratitude for everything from friendship to toilet paper.  Before it, I was like the farmer so busy praying for rain that I forgot to hold out my cup in a thunderstorm.

 ***

Social Media is a mask that allows you to scream to an audience of thousands tales that would make you blush crimson if told to one friend in a bar room.