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Work Wit – What’s Funny About Business

Work Wit: The Scowl of Self-Absorbtion…If you get really, really serious about everything that you do, you probably won’t like yourself any better than anyone else does.

Biz Quiz: What percentage of surveyed US workers claim to be passionate about their jobs? 20 % (65% claim to be “satisfied.”)

WORK WIT: America The Beautiful…An entrepreneur knows he’s landed in the right country when he spends more time & money giving rebates to loyal clients than to dubious government officials.

Biz Quiz.  Within the last decade, what percent of new enterprises in the United States are launched by first generation immigrants?  48.7 percent.

WORK WIT: Face to Place…Our last “live” team meeting was attended by eight cups of coffee, one intern, and seven laptop screens sporting faceshots of their owner.

Afterthought: The intern unanimously voted himself to department head, and reported to the CEO that it was the most productive meeting held by our team since he joined the firm.

WORK WIT:  Polishing Your Brilliance…I think the reason so many people keep asking me to write my ideas down is so that they won’t have to listen to them.

Biz Quiz:  If you are given one minute to relate your idea, how many words should you use?  120 – 160 is considered an understandable rate of speech.

WORK WIT: Sharing Your Wealth…A financial planner is an individual who has not been able to make himself rich, but who truly believes that if you give him your money, he can make you both rich.

Biz Quiz:  How many financial planners are active in the U.S.?  About 330,000 – that’s 10 planners for every stock listed in NASDAQ.

WORK WIT:  Smoke & Mirrors…In America, being successful is helpful, but appearing successful is a necessity.

Biz Quiz:  What percent of small businesses closed during the pandemic?  Accuracy is difficult here, but during the 2nd quarter of 2020 federal reserve tracking found 37.4% of small businesse shut doors at least temporarily.

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WORK WIT: Polishing Your Brilliance…I think the reason so many people keep asking me to write my ideas down is so that they won’t have to listen to them.

Biz Quiz:  If you are given one minute to relate your idea, how many words should you use?  120 – 160 is considered an understandable rate of speech.

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Work Wit – Ah, ‘tis Spring… Time for careless banks to melt away and careful bankers to grab their parting bonuses and slither into greener pastures.

Biz Quiz: How many United States banks have failed in the 21st century?  563 failed, leaving 3,123 remaining in 2023.

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Work Wit:  Corona Wonders…What do you call a nation where people sit down and chat face-to-face to share a glass of wine, but stand on a moving treadmill and squint into a screen to share employment in the same company? America the Beautiful.

Biz Quiz: What is the best estimate of treadmill desks purchased in the last decade?  Somewhere between 400,000 and 600,000. https://bartsbooks.com

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Work Wit – America The Beautiful…An entrepreneur knows he’s landed in the right country when he spends more time & money giving rebates to loyal clients than to dubious government officials.

Biz Quiz.  Within the last decade, what percent of new enterprises in the United States are launched by first generation immigrants?  48.7 percent.

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Sign of Our Times…She wouldn’t be caught dead venturing into marriage with an off-the-rack wedding gown, but she thinks nothing of venturing into a new enterprise an AI generated business plan.

Biz Quiz: What is the price of the average wedding gown in the U.S.?  America’s 2.5 million brides this past year paid an average of $2,000 – $4,000 for their wedding gowns.

The American Way… As a patriotic gentleman of business, I whole-heartedly support all legislators who give contracts to my firm.  Of course, those who give contracts to my competitors are irresponsible wastrels and darn fools.

Biz Quiz:  How many government contractors are employed in the U.S.?  You are paying for 5,294 contractors – 55% are male – average age is 46.