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Work Wit – What’s Funny About Business

Work Wit: The Scowl of Self-Absorbtion…If you get really, really serious about everything that you do, you probably won’t like yourself any better than anyone else does.

Biz Quiz: What percentage of surveyed US workers claim to be passionate about their jobs? 20 % (65% claim to be “satisfied.”)

WORK WIT: America The Beautiful…An entrepreneur knows he’s landed in the right country when he spends more time & money giving rebates to loyal clients than to dubious government officials.

Biz Quiz.  Within the last decade, what percent of new enterprises in the United States are launched by first generation immigrants?  48.7 percent.

WORK WIT: Face to Place…Our last “live” team meeting was attended by eight cups of coffee, one intern, and seven laptop screens sporting faceshots of their owner.

Afterthought: The intern unanimously voted himself to department head, and reported to the CEO that it was the most productive meeting held by our team since he joined the firm.

WORK WIT:  Polishing Your Brilliance…I think the reason so many people keep asking me to write my ideas down is so that they won’t have to listen to them.

Biz Quiz:  If you are given one minute to relate your idea, how many words should you use?  120 – 160 is considered an understandable rate of speech.

WORK WIT: Sharing Your Wealth…A financial planner is an individual who has not been able to make himself rich, but who truly believes that if you give him your money, he can make you both rich.

Biz Quiz:  How many financial planners are active in the U.S.?  About 330,000 – that’s 10 planners for every stock listed in NASDAQ.

WORK WIT:  Smoke & Mirrors…In America, being successful is helpful, but appearing successful is a necessity.

Biz Quiz:  What percent of small businesses closed during the pandemic?  Accuracy is difficult here, but during the 2nd quarter of 2020 federal reserve tracking found 37.4% of small businesse shut doors at least temporarily.

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WORK WIT: Polishing Your Brilliance…I think the reason so many people keep asking me to write my ideas down is so that they won’t have to listen to them.

Biz Quiz:  If you are given one minute to relate your idea, how many words should you use?  120 – 160 is considered an understandable rate of speech.

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Work Wit – Ah, ‘tis Spring… Time for careless banks to melt away and careful bankers to grab their parting bonuses and slither into greener pastures.

Biz Quiz: How many United States banks have failed in the 21st century?  563 failed, leaving 3,123 remaining in 2023.

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Work Wit:  Corona Wonders…What do you call a nation where people sit down and chat face-to-face to share a glass of wine, but stand on a moving treadmill and squint into a screen to share employment in the same company? America the Beautiful.

Biz Quiz: What is the best estimate of treadmill desks purchased in the last decade?  Somewhere between 400,000 and 600,000. https://bartsbooks.com

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Work Wit – America The Beautiful…An entrepreneur knows he’s landed in the right country when he spends more time & money giving rebates to loyal clients than to dubious government officials.

Biz Quiz.  Within the last decade, what percent of new enterprises in the United States are launched by first generation immigrants?  48.7 percent.

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Sign of Our Times…She wouldn’t be caught dead venturing into marriage with an off-the-rack wedding gown, but she thinks nothing of venturing into a new enterprise an AI generated business plan.

Biz Quiz: What is the price of the average wedding gown in the U.S.?  America’s 2.5 million brides this past year paid an average of $2,000 – $4,000 for their wedding gowns.

The American Way… As a patriotic gentleman of business, I whole-heartedly support all legislators who give contracts to my firm.  Of course, those who give contracts to my competitors are irresponsible wastrels and darn fools.

Biz Quiz:  How many government contractors are employed in the U.S.?  You are paying for 5,294 contractors – 55% are male – average age is 46.

From Vine to Glass Touring the Fine Wines in New Jersey May 4th

Thursday eve, May 4, 6:30 at the Cranbury Library

From Vine to Glass  Touring the Fine Wines in New Jersey

As the sixth largest producer of wine in the United States, New Jersey boasts 55 commercial wineries and a growing number of wine-grape farms.  And in the Dionysian Society blind tasting pitting the best wines of France and California vs. New Jersey – guess who took top honors?   Wine author and hobby vintner Bart Jackson guides you around the Garden State’s wine offerings, explaining what grapes thrive in her four growing regions, and what winery events not to miss. (Opera & wine, anyone?) Bart also provides tips on selecting, tasting, and growing, as well as some of the best ways to launch your own wine trail explorations.  All is presented with good humor and touches of history…(Do you know how many wineries in Burlington county were closed at the outset of Prohibition?)  Come and discover the tasteful bounty growing all around us.

Bart Jackson, author of The Garden States Winery Guide, is a veteran advocate and explorer of New Jersey’s wine industry. Since 1995, he and his wife Lorraine have grown the grapes in their own hobby vineyard in Cranbury from which they joyfully press and produce their own Chateau Bonne Chance vintages.  Bart is CEO of Prometheus Publishing, hosts The Art of the CEO radio show, and is the founder of The Prometheus Social Enterprise Awards, bringing the most inventive social contributors to light. His other books range from Whitewater – Running the Wild Rivers of North America to the bestselling CEO of Yourself – Getting Down to the Business of Your More Rewarding Life.  As a globe-trotting journalist, Bart has carted his pen and curiosity and wine thirst through over 80 countries.  His most prized writings are the poems penned to his bride Lorraine, which are published on the north wall of their Cranbury home.

To learn more visit From Vine to Glass Touring the Fine Wines in New Jersey – The Art of the CEO Radio

 

Re-sculpting Your Career – Post-Covid Opportunities

Fortune now smiles on the energized employee willing to take his/her current skills and apply them in a new field. On Friday, February 24, 10 a.m. at the Princeton Public Library Bart Jackson will speak to the Professional Service Group of Mercer County. Admission is free, all are welcome – virtual attendance is also available: register on the PSG website www.psgofmercercounty.org.

Bart lays out a practical plan for searching out what businesses are seeking, how to navigate your professional switch, and how to negotiate your way into a more profitable career. In his words, “If you thought the business talent hunt was immense before Covid, wait until you see what’s waiting for you today.”

Best Revenge

I invested my life savings in a not-so-mutual fund that apparently bought my broker’s new home in Aruba.  He explained that this monetary shift was covered under the contract clause, “Individual results may vary.”

 

Afterthought.  The only just solution is for you to send tickets to your nagging mother-in-law, your out-of-work brother, and your dropout daughter and offer them free rooms in your new house.  If your broker wants to rob what is yours, insist he take the whole package.

Business Quips – The Art of the CEO Radio

2023 – The Year to Get Personal

If my Wishing Wand were freshly loaded with Stardust, and stood poised over an expectant humanity, eager for salvation, my one magic spell would doubtless be that we each and all get to know each other more personally, more individually.  People’s eyes might then magically open.  We’d stop perceiving each other as red-staters or blue, as neighbors or immigrants, customers or coworkers, loosers or powerful people it behooves me to cozy up to.  Instead of slicing & dicing our fellows up into pre-labeled tribes, we’d begin delightfully exploring Judy, Tom, Randy, Jacque, Sophia, and Ivan – each unique individuals.

We’d start tearing our eyes away from our two-dimensional screens, blink into God’s honest sunlight, and launch into the far more satisfying process of learning all the little fascinating facets that lie behind Hari’s ready smile – and the real reason another old acquaintance’s parents named her Sequoia.  The other night I had the pleasure of witnessing this blossoming when a Zoom group that I attend weekly gathered for a face-to-face Holiday Party.  The sheer joy was absolutely palpable.  Laughter rang and the stilted curtain of teleconferencing formality drew back as we each shared the broader panorama of our own true selves.

But ‘tis far too easy to fix the blame for our isolation on technology.  The fault of our interpersonal poverty lies more in our selves, than our devices.  Long before smartphones, even before desktop computers, our society had begun drifting into impersonality, and what I call the “shark-fin-soup” method of making relationships.  Joe repairs my car.  Sandra is the firm’s tech wizard, Bruce is that idiot who votes for the wrong party.  So much for Joe, Sandra, and Bruce.  They’ve been boxed into their single-slot asset or characteristic.   You don’t need me to preach the stupidity of slicing off just the fin and tossing the entire rest of this individual back into the sea of our disinterest.  You already know the wastefulness of treating your fellows as mere functions.

And actually, you don’t even require my Wishing Wand to bootstrap yourself out of this self-inflicted loneliness.  Have you thrown a good old-fashioned party for the neighbors lately?  Taken your cleaning woman shopping?  Invited one or two workday cronies for a wine tasting or bike ride?  Or have you paused in your vitally frantic schedule to learn a little about the family of the person who delivers your mail?  There wanders among us legions of bizarre, captivating, multi-faceted souls whose wealth will open to you with a little friendly conversation.  Who knows, that s.o.b. in accounting might just be the tennis partner you’ve been searching for.

May you bounce merrily into 2023,   – Bart Jackson